Monday, April 18, 2005

Pontifications on the Pope Picking Process


I offer the following comments regarding the selection of the new Pope:

• It’s amazing how The Vatican, which is notoriously old fashioned, suddenly starts behaving like the CIA (i.e. organizing sweeps for electronic bugs, etc.) when it comes to maintaining secrecy regarding the selection of the new Pope. I doubt even reporters from The Sun will be able to penetrate this security screen.

• Why is it that Italy, an overwhelmingly Catholic country and home to The Vatican, has virtually the lowest birth rate in Europe? Not listening to Il Papa, eh? Naughty!

• Why is it that 78 year old Cardinal Ratzinger, an arch conservative and allegedly a former member of the Hitler Youth, a front runner for the candidacy?

• It’s odd that at this time, four individuals have suddenly been charged with the murder of Roberto Calvi, otherwise known as “God’s banker”, who was found hanged under Blackfriars’ Bridge, London, 20 years ago. It is believed that Signor Calvi was topped because of links between the Church and the Mafia. The timing of this announcement seems very suspicious.

• John Paul II’s ring and seal have supposedly been destroyed, ceremoniously. I can’t help thinking that it won’t be long before some wide boy is offering the broken bits on Ebay.

• Why is it that a geriatric, unmarried, abstinent (possibly virgin) male controls the sexual and reproductive health of a billion women worldwide?

If I’m found hanging from a structure in Seattle or I’m struck by lightning you’ll know I’ve overstepped the mark.


Breaking News
The BBC News website has just announced that Cardinal Ratzinger will be the new Pope. Does the Catholic Church need an extreme conservative who will probably be a divisive figure at this time? For me this is depressing news. Worse for women worldwide. But then I'm not a catholic so what do I know?!

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