Friday, April 28, 2006

A Real Mad Dog

Chihuaua handstand

A couple of days ago, while out and about on the streets of the great metropolis of Bellevue, Washington, I had an Alice in Wonderland moment. No it wasn't a grinning Cheshire Cat that I stumbled across (actually that sort of happened a bit later, but that's another story) but a promenading chihuaua. Now people with small dogs are not uncommon in this city but what the dog was doing was quite amazing: it was walking on its front paws, handstand style, while simultaneously peeing. Quite astonishing and before you ask the answer is, no, I hadn't been at the shiraz or ingested any kind of mushroom.

A quick search on Google revealed that this behaviour is not uncommon with this breed: see picture above (apologies to the person whose Flickr album I plundered). in addition it would seem that other members of the animal kingdom get up to similar antics. My guess is that these creatures are males and are cavorting in this manner to impress females....

panda peeing
Panda doing handstand (courtesy of the BBC).

Friday, April 21, 2006

Did You Find It...?

Broken window

This is just a quick note to say three things to the individual who was looking for something in my car yesterday:

1) I hope you found what you were seeking. You must have been in a hurry as the interior was quite untidy by the time I arrived. I trust you've taken care of the cut you acquired. Glass can be very sharp, can't it? It must have been nasty as there was quite a bit of blood on my aikido jacket that you pulled out of its bag. Please make sure you cover up the wound as I would hate you to get some horrible infection.

2) In your haste you forgot to pay me for the window. We are all so busy these days it's such an easy thing to do. And I hate to ask friends for money -it seems so vulgar. Anyway the cost for a new one is $439 but I managed to find a used item for $177 (tax, tip and fitting extra). It's amazing what a little piece of glass costs. Perhaps you would be so kind as to leave a cheque on the windscreen under one of the wipers. Cash is acceptable although I don't think you should leave it on the screen. There are quite a few unsavoury characters in the neighbourhood and it's better to be safe than sorry. Alternatively you could pay me in person if you visit The Triangle Pub (see below).

3) I think you left your rock in the car (see picture). It hasn't got a name on it but I'm sure it's yours. Do you recognise it? I know how useful these things are. If you like I could meet you at The Triangle Pub on the 500 block of 1st Avenue S where I can return it to you in a ballistically efficient manner.

Have a nice day!
Rock on

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Let's Kill all the Lawyers

Coronation of Henry VI
Nice print depicting the coronation of Henry VI

Old Bill Shakespeare certainly had a point when he wrote in Henry VI (Part 2) "...the first thing we'll do, let's kill all the lawyers...". I've had cause to interact quite a lot with the legal profession lately and while I've got no personal cause for complaint other than the sheer expense involved, other friends and colleagues certainly do. Consider this:

Recently, old crony, Mel, turned up to a court hearing only to find that it had been posponed at his lawyer's request. This would not have been quite so irksome in normal circumstances but Mel had a broken leg at the time and hauling himself around was a non-trivial task. Quite naturally he telephoned his lawyer's office and complained about the lack of communications to a legal assistant. A little later Mel received a call back from his lawyer who apologised profusely for the situation. For a brief period Mel thought that perhaps attorneys had an undeservedly bad reputation. But then he received his statement of account and found he'd been billed for his lawyer's apologetic phone call!!

As the saying goes, "lawyer, rope, tree -some assembly required".

(Feel free to share lawyer stories).

Monday, April 17, 2006

Normal Service Resumed

Jim on Vacation

I'm back! Sorry to have alarmed some of you -I was quite touched by the concerned emails. Actually nothing sinister was going on; I just didn't feel motivated or inspired to write and I think I was more than a bit drained by the Big Personal Project. Anyway I'm back so watch this space for pontifications on the usual assortment of subjects. Oh, and "What about the picture, -have you been on holiday?" I hear you ask. The answer to that is an emphatic "no". I received the photo yesterday from friend and MD rallying team boss, Jim Wirtz in response to a rather prosaic email. He sent it to me via a text message from his mobile phone proclaiming that he was in Juan-les-Pins. Jim, sometimes I hate you...!