Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Crowning Glory

Yesterday, for my sins, I had a dental crown fitted. I feel quite grateful that despite being brought up in the era of no water fluoridation and crap NHS dentistry (i.e. the UK in the 60s and 70s) I've attained a relatively advanced age without the need for these things. While I've always sought out progressive dentists I was still surprised to be offered a choice of movies (from a menu of 400+) while I prepared for my two hours of drilling and filling (but discovered subsequently that I was at the practice of "Seattle's Best Dentist"). My first request to the young but highly competent assistant was for Marathon Man (see above clip). Unfortunately it wasn't in their library and furthermore the young thing had no clue what I was talking about. My first reaction was that she didn't understand my twisted sense of humour but to be fair she was certainly born well after Dustin Hoffman, Laurence Olivier and Roy Scheider were chewing the scenery off the walls in this flick. In the end I settled for The Maltese Falcon. At the time I didn't realise what a great choice this was: I'd completely forgotten about lines from Bogie such as " like that can get a guy's teeth knocked out...". Classic stuff but let me assure you that when you have a head full of anaesthetic, a rubber dam in your mouth and the ultrasonic drill is screaming away, script of this nature can easily give you an attack of the giggles. My dentist didn't get it until much later when I had the bloody dam out of my mouth and could explain. Anyway in the course of my fun filled two hours I started to think of other films that would be appropriate for viewing while in the dentist's chair. Here's my list:
  1. Marathon Man
  2. Thomas Crown Affair
  3. Jaws
  4. Drillbit Taylor
  5. Mona Lisa Smile
  6. Jewel in the Crown
  7. Raw Nerve
  8. Any James Bond(ed) -geddit?
  9. Novocaine (yes, there really is a flick with this title)
  10. Decay (as for #9)
I'm sure there must be more as I compiled this list while in the chair and not exactly compus mentus. Please let me know you're suggestions...

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