Friday, May 20, 2005

Star Wars Tedium

Am I the only person on the planet who can’t stand the Star Wars franchise? I hated it when I first saw it in 1977 and I hate it now. As far as I was concerned the original movie failed in the opening credits as the huge spaceship traversed the screen making a deep roaring noise. Now every schoolboy knows that in the vacuum of space there is no sound. So to suspend my disbelief I must not hear roaring outside the atmosphere and neither do I want explosions with flames etc. I wanted to dope slap everyone who said “But the special effects were great…”. They were implausible and the story was a crude cut and paste job from Lord of the Rings and just about any zen-martial-arts-samurai parable. To make matters worse we had a lot of hokey characters with even hokier names like Chewbacca, Jabba the Hut, that robot that was modeled on a P.G. Wodehouse character and Obi Wank Enobi (what on earth was Sir Alec Guinness thinking when he did that –he must have needed the money). And if that wasn’t enough, the “episodes” were delivered in random order with stupid titles like The Empire Goes on Strike and so forth. I always felt that Lucas was taking the piss. But somehow he created a cult as well as an obscene pile of money. I wouldn’t mind so much about this but since 1977 we’ve had to endure legions of twats running around with Darth Vader masks, capes and light sabres and reciting large chunks of the script from memory. Aargh!

Perhaps the only good thing to come from all this nonsense is a solar system sized pool of satirical material. The latest offering, Revenge of the Cyst, or something, has all sorts of interesting parallels with current world political situation and I note with glee that the wags are already tearing into it. Ha! Ha! Agitprop has some interesting observations here, and I thank him for the use of his graphic.

Now it’s time for my medication…

P.S. It seems I'm not alone; see here for kindred spirits.

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