Thursday, August 11, 2005

Top Tottie Challenge 2: The CNN “Newsmodels”

Recently Andrew Marr, the BBC's outgoing political editor, suggested that newsreaders are paid too much money for merely "reading an autocue". His comments were supported by John Humphrys, host of BBC Radio 4's Today programme, who said reading the news "isn't work" and "requires no brain". Indeed on this report on the BBC site there was a picture of Channel 5’s Kirsty Young who reportedly earns £500,000 a year. A low blow perhaps…? Well to those of you who might think Ms. Young to be a self-aggrandising strumpet, you really ought to take a look at this collection of flibbertygibbets that adorn US TV screens on a daily basis, so behold I bring you the CNN “newsmodels”:
paul.christi
Christie Paul
bakhtiar.rudi
Rudi Bakhtiar
meade.robin
Robin Meade
costello.carol
Carol Costello
zahn.paula
Paula Zahn

Have you ever seen such a perfectly manicured bunch? I don’t want to think about what they earn but I’m sure their collective annual income would be enough to pay for a NASA manned mission to Mars. And for those of you who demean Kirsty Young, I can assure you she is an intellectual tyrannosaurus compared to this lot. A particularly annoying trait is that they seem to be primed to flirt with the camera and the upshot is that horrific news stories are often delivered while grinning inanely. The phenotypically perfect Rudi Bakhtiar is the worst offender. I’ll stop short at calling her vacuous but the terms “hot air balloon” and “jumpstart” do spring to mind. CNN refers to all these women as “journalists”. Well I may be unkind but their penetrative interviewing skills seem to be on the level of “Do you think Mel will be thrown off Survivor…?” and “What’s your star sign..?” I’ll make a bit of an exception for Paula Zahn who can play the cello quite well but she’s still no Jeremy Paxman. Hence the expression (not mine) of “newsmodels” because their sole purpose is to present news while looking as attractive as possible.

I have no doubt that these ladies are used to decorate the CNN studios and get the viewer ratings up -rather like I’m trying to do with my own site traffic! Except that CNN is deadly serious. My concern now is that these Newsmodels have a huge fan base of humourless males who I don’t think will take kindly to my jibes and I won’t be surprised if there is a bit of Troll activity on my Comments. At least we could have good knock-about fun with Sarah Beeny.

OK, let’s see what that does for site traffic...

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